The Beach House
by Satu-Suzu
Summary: Stan has gone delinquent, and the humanhams are going to a beach house to fix him? Is it just that? Or will loves blossom? Who knows? Will the others find love? Maybe...
1. He Won't do it no Matter What

The Beach House

By Satu-Suzu

Group of girls: When do we come in?

Summary: Stan has gone delinquent, and the human-hams are going to a beach house to fix him? Is it just that? Or will loves blossom? FLAMERS WILL BE FED TO THE RABID PRETZEL.

Chapter one: He won't do it... No matter what you say!

"STAAAAAN!" yelled Sandy as she stomped into the room that she and her brother shared. They weren't rich. There was a letter in her hands.

"EXPLAIN THIS TO ME!"

The human ham boy was sitting on a rickety old bed, listening to a Walkman. He had the look of ignorance on his face as Sandy thrust the letter into his face.

Dear Recipient,

We are inquiring about the person who lives here with you, Stan. He has

been caught on tape stealing shoes from the local Publix-" Stan

smilied.

"I'm so proud of me!"

"THIS IS SERIOUS, YOU IDIOT! THIS IS THE THIRD TIME YOU'VE GOTTEN INTO TROUBLE! THE THIRD! You think you're so smart, then answer this: why did you steal shoes when you have perfectly good ones on your feet right no-" On Stan's feet were a shiny new pair of Converses.

"Thanks." he said, a smirk on his face. Sandy groaned, stomped out of the room, and left the house. She needed to talk to her friends.

"And that's how it goes," whimpered the girl, ham ears drooping(AN: To prevent confusion, they have only ham ears, no human ears.). "Every single day."

"Hmm," started Bijou. "Maybe he feels dejected since you're so, um." She didn't want to be rude. Pepper grinned evilly as she picked up her baseball bat. "Its time for some hard love, Sands."

Pashmina looked horrified. Penelope was taking a nap at the moment.All of a sudden (AN: I love that phrase!), Flexible's ears perked up. "I have a wonderful idea!" She had brown hair that went with her ears, and two red ribbons in her hair placed like Bijou's.

"We've been working on something for a while and it might help Stan." pitched in Calico, her more demure twin sister, who looked exactly the same.

"Shoot." muttered Sandy.

"Weeellll..."

"I'M NOT GONNA DO IT!" came from the back of the car. "I'M NOT GONNA DO

IT! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME! THIS IS AMERICA FOR CRIPES SAKE!"

"Shut it, Stan. You sound like a little kid. Even Penelope's acting more mature." clamored Pashmina. A murmur came from the back seat while Penelope watched Magical Heart Anime Girl: Rainbow Rains on the DVD player.

"It'll be fun!" said Bijou from the middle passenger left. Stan just grumbled and slammed the headphones on to join the quest for Magical Hearts on the Anime. Oh well. It was better than nothing. Soon, the cars carrying boys and girls drove up to a tall, TALL beach house. It looked 18 stories high, from Maxwell's calculation. The hams brought in their stuff into the elevator(AN:Yes, you can put an elevator in a beach house.), even Snoozer, who sleepwallked in with red cargo, and the hams went up to the third floor, wondering the maximum capacity of the elevator.

They reached the kitchen on the third floor and got off. They entered the room. Hamtaro was the first to speak. "HELLO? WE'RE HERE! WE WANT TO PUT OUR STUFF AWAY? DOES ANYONE LIVE HERE?" This was when Panda noticed the quivering brown blob on the

swivel chair. The blob shook and turned to the hams. It wasn't a blob, it was a human ham! He lifted his head crowned with his brown and white speckled hair that was the same color of his pants and shirt and shoes.

There was a nutty look in his eyes. No one would have recognized him except for his sentence and voice, "I LIKE BLUEBERRY PIE!" Flexible walked into the room amidst groans."I see you met Pretzel."

"Met him? I thought we escaped him!" cried Panda. Calico walked into the room, along with a red haired girl who was named Ali, who was in a turquoise blazer, a white shirt that said "Dark Dreamer", blue jeans,and orange flip flops, and Con-sama, a girl with blond hair, a black shirt that read "HAM NO.", black jeans and black shoes with a black stick thing that she was carrying.

It seemed that she had caught Panda's attention.

Stan groaned. With this crowd, it would be a long summer.

"...And this is your room!" crowed Flexible to Stan. It was brown with a brown bed with lots of shelves. The girls had a room to cater to the hams needs and wants. Stan was on floor 15 with his sister, Sandy, who was in a different room. It was obvious the girl hated Stan and Stan hated the girl. They glared at each other before Flexible left the room. Stan flopped onto the bed and groaned.

First things first, an escape plan. There was a knock on his door. It swung open to reveal Pretzel grinning weirdly.

"Hello, roomie!"

'Shoot me, Ham,' Stan thought.

END OF CHAPPIE ONE! So, whaddya think? Love it? Hate it? Llamafy it beyond mortal reason? I know its not that funny, but it'll get there! Pretzel is sole right of cappyandpashy4ever, who was kind enough to let me use her ham! I'm sorry I didn't get this up in time! Ali is me, but

I didn't know if I was allowed to use my real name. Send in reviews! I'll put you in the story if you ask! And A BIG SHOUT OUT TO BROKEN CHIBI WHO LET ME SEND MY STORIES TO HER SO SHE COULD PUBLISH THEM! HUGZ

TA YA:D:D:D:D:D:D

Couples: Unknown


	2. It Gets Better and Better

The beach house

Disclaimer: I do not own the hammies! But I wish I did… because the aliens have taken them away from me!

Chapter Two: It gets better and better!

Stan stomped down to breakfast with all the power of a killer. He woke up everyone in the house from the 6th floor to the kitchen. He found Flexible there with Ali making pancakes and something yummy smelling. He hoped it tasted horrible.

"Come and help us!" said Flexible. Stan just rolled his eyes.

"Where's the TV?"

"We don't have one." Horrifying silence.

"No TV?"

"None."

"HOW DO YOU LIVE? HOW DO YOU SURVIVE? YOU'RE LIKE THOSE CAVEPEOPLE ON THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL!"

"But we have a Playstation 3. Its hooked up to a TV with no channels."

"Need...mind numbing...Playstation...life..."

"Do what you want. But if you don't help out, you have to serve food in

uniform."

"Uniform?"

"Oh, Stan, you look so cute!" howled Bijou.

"Yeah, Stan!" chimed in Penelope, holding out an empty juice cup. "It suits you very well!" Pretzel was snapping pics with a Poloroid he was mesmerised with.

Earlier that day

"LLAMA LLAMA JOE!" crowed the boy. Flexible was still asleep and Ham knows her mood when she's woken rudeley. Calico looked frantically around for something to keep hm quietly entertained. She spotted a camera.

"Here!" she whispered, handing the boy the camera as he looked through the lens with the glare of the guy who trapped you in the basement.

"I will work wonders with this camera," muttered Pretzel.

Now

"I'll sell these on the internet!" cheered Pretzel as he snapped pictures of Stan's red and white waitress uniform. It was long and poofy with a cute little cap. Stan resisted the urge to throw Pretzel out the window, where the sky shone blue.

But that sky would turn grey when Sparkle came to town. She was here in the "Poor Area" for one reason: to stalk Hamtaro. She had a passion for the boy and a hate for the other hams. She was willing to get rid of anyone in her path. This is what Sparkle thought as she drove into the driveway

But what of the mystery girls? The Girls who also lived in the beach house? When will they come in? Who are they and where did they come from?


	3. Trouble Begins When the Stars Don't

Chapter Three: Trouble begins when the stars don't Sparkle.

THANKIES TO ALL MY REVIEWERS! claps for CappyandpashyUR SO

WONDERFUL! giggles Hopefully, I'll be able to wedge in Cinnamon and the

popular kids! Oh yeah, I figured that your fave hamtaro couple and

character affects your personality. For example, if you like Boss and

Bijou, you are very tough, your friends admire your defensive and

protective personality but they also like how you always look after

everyone! You like accessories but only ones that don't get in your way

and you rarely dress up. But this doesn't go for all people! Now, lets

see who is going to end up a couple! Tee-hee! AND SHAME TO MY BETA READER! SHAME SHAME SHAME!

* * *

The girl stomped up to the elevator and slammed the up button. She

didn't want to go here but Hamtaro was here. She was in a very rural

town. Hopefully the people here knew what soap was. She was going to

take a bath. The elevator arrived in what seemed like a century and

Sparkle hopped in.

"What if this thing falls?" she whimpered. She wasn't going to die a

hobo's death before she could kill others for true love.

After much elevator searching, she finally found the floor with the

kitchen. She slammed open the door, butler having things in tow.

Sparkle stomped into the room, swishing past Daniel-sama and Ali,

"Coughuglycough." couged Ali. Daniel-sama nudged her painfully as not to push it, to which Ali responded with a 'Well-she-is' glance. Sparkle walked up to Flexible and tautly said, "I believe my boyfriend is here."

"Heke?" questioned Hamtaro. Boss blushed. "I'm sorry Sparkl-"

"NOT YOU, YOU POOR PERSON!" Boss looked wounded. Bijou turned a light

red and started stabbing her scrambled eggs into double-bite sized

pieces while the girls and Penelope looked at Bijou's strength in

horror.

Flexible looked Sparkle straight in the eye as if to ward her off or

make her dissapear. This was a lot of self control for Flexible,

thought Calico. Pretzel took this time to introduce himself to Hollywood.

"HI, I'M PRETZEL OREGANO TERIYAKI, AND I'M THE NEXT AMERICAN IDOL." As

he said this, his plate of eggs covered in ketchup and hot sauce(AN: My

dad really does eat this) flew off and onto Sparkle's nice new shirt.

"WHAT THE HAM?" She turned to the source of all things stupid. "YOU DID

THAT ON PURPOSE!"

"Am I on American Idol?"

"Kids do that." offered Flexible.

"Not the ones I know."

"That's because their all scared of you." A whistle swept through the

room as the hams stood stunned, waiting for the comeback.

"Maybe its your face."

"Y'know, that's a nice shirt. Maybe Pretzel can take a picture and post

it on my site."

"Who's Pret-"

Whiiirrr.Click.

Sparkle turned around to see Pretzel waving a picture of a stunned

Sparkle in a messy shirt. Stan smirked. He might like this kid after

all.

This was when the silence was broken. Sparkle lunged for the picture.

It flew out of Pretzel's hands and into the scrambled eggs.

Bijou, seeing this as a chance for blackmail, whipped the picture out

of the eggs. She waved it triumphantly before Pashmina snatched it out

of her hands to get rid of it.

"This is a good movie." muttered Hamtaro.

"You keep telling yourself that," Dexter muttered back. The scuffle continued, to which Sandy joined in before Penelope caughtthe picture and held it tightly.

"Give it here," cooed Bijou. "For blackmail."

"For revenge," whispered Sandy.

"For my site," whispered Flexible.

"For purity," muttered Pashmina.

"For my reputation, hammit!"

Penelope stood there, whimpereing when all of a sudden (AN: There it is

again!), Cinnamon flew into the room in a search for her brother, and

ate the photo. (AN: That was random, but authors are desperate to

introduce a character 0.o)

Flexible did not agree to it, but if not for Calico, Sparkle would not

be finding her room.Sparkle gawked at the gaudiness of her room.

"I am SO not going to sleep in here!"

"Just be careful if you turn in your sleep." Sparkle was looking at her

room: The widow's walk.(AN: An open air place that is on the roof of

houses, so you can get a very nice view of the beach/junkyard/where

ever you live. Very nice for 4th of Julys). She sighed. But she knew

her work would not be in vain.

Girls do not travel across the country to stalk boys to have their

efforts in vain.

* * *

Well, dere ya go! In my pitiful life: Satu go to check out DVDS. Satu

get hamtaro DVDs. DVDs too scratched to watch. Satu angry. Might spray

DVDs with hairspray to get scratches off. Satu hope Valentine's DVD ok.

Satu. E-mail me and I'll send you bloopers. OH, ONE MORE THING!

* * *

A few houses down, a boy and a girl were spying on the conversation

with some binoculars.

"What do you see?" asked the girl.

"It looks like the angry girl is doing a dance...jumping?" replied the

boy.


	4. Fexible gets Sick and There's of Daniel

Chapter 4: Flexible Gets Sick(And Sparkle gets Mad)

Heyas ppls! Sorry about taking long to get updated, I got grounded and things got in the way and FCAT (A dumb test we have to take. 4 of them.

And a parrot.) and basicallly, life caught up and I realized that it

was hard to party because the textbooks were eating me ALIVE, I TELL YOU! ALIIIVE!

Najimewalks up with earl grey tea:Okay, dear, I think it's time for alittle tea.

Me:OH BOY!grabs teacup

Najime: sigh

Oh yeah, since V-day is way beyond gone, I am not going to do a V-day special unless people want me to. Sorry! But there will be plenty of lovey-dovey.

* * *

It started with a mop. It ended with it, too.Flexible walked down the stairs, a white cloth over her mouth. She carried a Cuban mop with her.(AN:It's a stick with a vertical stick on it and you put cloth on the vertical stick and mop.)

Calico spotted the mop and the mask and muttered, "Hoo boy." Jingle, who was sitting on a window by the stairs and was trying to find a word rhyming with 'month', looked up with a question in his eyes. Calico winked at him.

Jingle then understood and continued to see if 'dunce' rhymed with

'month'. Calico grabbed a pan and started on French toast and tea. As

Stan walked down, Flexible started mopping.

He then noticed something was off. (AN:I noticed that no one has talked yet.) He walked up the the brown and white and black-haired girl and put his hand on her forehead.

Burning.

"Awright, that's enough for you!" He grabbed the mop out of Flexible's

hands.

"But the floor needs mopping! The breakfast needs cooking! The people need caring! THE TERIYAKIS NEED RESTRAINING!"

"All covered!" responded Boss as he grabbed teacups and Jingle took

control of the mop. Pashmina walked down with Hamtaro and she declared that she was today's bedmaker.

Which left Hamtaro with the pleasurable job of...

"BLUEBERRY PIE!" yelled the two human-hams as they rushed down.

Cinnamon had a bob cut with cinnamon brown hair with white streaks like frosting! She also had brown freckles on her nose and an air that made others feel like she had somewhat more self control than Pretzel. The two slid down the stair rail and turned to Dexter and shouted,

"ELEVATOR RIDE!"

Dexter, who had just woken up, was not in the mood to be dangled in a box 13 stories above ground, but due to Flexible's condition and mainly for Pashmina, walked with the two for an elevator ride.

Meanwhile, Stan was trying to cart Flexible up the stairs, who was

trying to escape and carry on with household chores when Hamtaro walked up and asked, "What's with her?"

"She has laminitis and will turn into a rabid llama and kill us off."

replied Stan sarcastically.

"R-r-really?" stuttered the white and orange haired boy.

"Lemme check something," and Stan knocked on Hamtaro's head three times. It echoed back. Kok! Kok! Kok!

"Now that we confirmed that," muttered Stan and carted a weary Flexible up the stairs.

Lavendar was the first thing he noticed when Stan got Flex up to her

room. Also, the fact that the native passion flowers were climbing up

her wall was another thing. He plopped her down on her bed and ran off to get some root tea. By the time he came back, Flexible was asleep.

Man, all that spazzing for nothing! Oh, whatever. He was feeling tired

himself. Flexible muttered something in her sleep, something about the cabbages and that darned Peter Rabbit and shifted in her sleep as Stan lay down.

Calico walked up to reclaim the tea, saw the scenario, and whispered,

"Dude, everything's working out today!" She ran down to cut up

tangerines for breakfast.

When she got down, Dexter was at the stove, making eggs in a

competition against Howdy. "Those twins wore me thin!"

* * *

((WAH! I'M SO SORRY DANIEL! I HAD TO GO DO… oh its you people. Tell you later.))

Naturo: I LEARNED MY NAME IS NOT BOB! YOU WILL DIE!

Me: And I put you in this email!

Naturo:

Me: I thought so. Good puppy!

Naturo: I'M A NINE TAILED FOX DEMON THINGY MABOBBER!

Me: WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?

Daniel: … that's you're such a puppy? Or a puppy ninetail fox?

Me: Puppy? Puppy ninetail fox? I…

Daniel: I've been reading way too many Anita Blake and Merry Gentry, watching too much underworld and queen of ihe damned…

Me: (hugs Daniel) its okay. I won't let those junkies steal your guy.

Daniel: straight you aren't.

* * *

Continuation of Chapter 4:

Calico giggled at the sight of Dexter flopping down in the big loveseat

in the living room, Pretzel and Cinnamon dancing around him shrieking,

"ELEVATOR RIDE!"

"Looks like things are going up fer ya, Dexter! Get it, up? As in

elevator? Laugh with me!" chortled Howdy.(AN:Did you know that chortled wasn't a real word until Lewis Carrol used it in 'Through The Looking Glass'?)

An invisible fog floated in the room as a result of the bad cun-I mean,

pun.

Daniel dragged herself downstairs, her hair a total flyaway. She muttered something about breakfast and trudged herself to the kitchen. (She's got the cooking job for the rest of the trip and she's cooks at home…)

She grabbed an egg and a pan that Jingle was done with and started

making an omelet. Panda walked down 3 minutes after her. He was black slacks and a black turtle neck shirt, in which showed of his chest.

"So, what's for breakfast? Daniel, remember you volunteered to help me pick out wood at the Home Depot and we have to be there by 7:30." Daniel blushed and smiled at Panda and nodded. She continued to make her breakfast until…

the moment was ruined when Pretzel yanked on Daniel's hair asking, "Can the Goth Lady make blueberry pancakes for Pretzel? He

has to go spaghetti picking and has to be home by 9:00." Daniel slowly was starting to look pissed. Sure, she was silent but she was still a girl.

"And Cinnamon grows airplane trees!" replied Pretzel's sister. At that she whacked Pretzel and his sister. She had just about enough of their stupidest.

The Ham-Hams gathered around the breakfast table 20 minutes later and chowed down. After dishes were cleared, Sparkle promenaded down wearing an ugly pink boa and a magenta cowgirl outfit.

"Oooh Stanny-poo!" called Sparkle. All air was sucked out of the room

as everyone gasped at the fashion fiasco.Stan groaned and hid in an open cupboard. Flexible, her sight being baddue to the cold, squinted and muttered, "Calico, I think a flamingoescaped into the house last night."

Sparkle gasped. "This outfit, unbeknownst to commoners like

vous,(AN:French for you.) is a multimillion dollar costume! This outfit

reflects my personality!"

"It sure does." responded Flexible, sure now that no rabid flamingoes

escaped from the zoo.

"I know! And I wore it outside on that big platform on the roof and

practiced my singing! All the animals went wild!"

Boss looked wide eyed at a pigeon repeatedly flying into the window.

"So that's what that was," sighed Jingle, strumming a flat note on his

guitar. "I thought I heard an animal call out to heaven!"

Sparkle glared at the 4 in the room (Stan was in the cupboard) and

stomped down to the beach, where she would wait dramatically for her

Stanny to confront her and admit his love! It always worked that way in the movies!

As the Predator in Pink stomped to the beach, getting her boa tangled

in the wind, Calico opened the window when the bird flew in and ran

into the wall before conking out. Pretzel and Cinnamon, hearing the

noise, scooped up the bird and put him in a fish tank that they found

at the flea market. They ran off with their new bird, Tanky, and Stan

climbed out of the cupboard.

"Is she gone?" he whimpered.

Flexible sighed and rubbed her temples. "This will be one looong

vacation,"

Meanwhile, Daniel, Ali and Panda stopped a pink cover hamster at that beach.

"Well, I'm not going on the beach," Ali said. "It has been tainted."

"What about you Daniel?" Panda asked. Daniel just shook her head, now she would never get the chance to show him! She took the keys from his hand before he could utter the word and drove off leaving the beach house with her two companions.

END OF CHAPTER 4

* * *

My longest chapter!WH00T! I hope ya like it! I keep on forgetting

Peaches and Cream!

Peaches:Take yer time, dear.

Cream:Why haven't you put us in yet? Do you not like us? WE ARE

YOUR OWN CREATION!

Me:sighNow for you dear readers, a poll: Calico has gone on a baking spree and is freaking out on what she should make for her crush.(That

will be revealed soon!) Should she make cupcakes or muffins? Thanks!

And review! I live on compliments! Did I just say that out loud?


	5. I Admit It, I Really Do!

Chapter 5: I ADMIT IT! I REALLY DO!

Calico never got fevers. She got baking. And this afternoon, her little friends, the muffin pans, were working overtime. She was working on her twelfth set of blueberry muffins when Flex walked in, seeing the mountains of muffins.

"Oh...my..."

"Yes, it is a tad too much, I must insist. But do you think The Certain Someone will like it?" Flex stared at all the muffins.

"If he likes this much muffin..."

Stan walked in, wearing his ever present headphones. "I'm bored and its hot out." Flex pointed to the blue bay in the backyard of the beach house. Stan gawked.

"When did we get that?"

"We got it off ebay for 12 cents." Flex responded sarcastically. Stan slipped on a bathing suit and started snorkling. He never knew how much life there was in the bay. It was cool in a weird sort of way, even with the over confident angel fish, who would swim up to his face to investigate this new and mysterious creature.

It wasn't long before he bung (AN:My New word! Not banged, bung!) his head on a wooden pillar. When Stan looked up, he saw a girl with a long, peach colored ponytail. She had peachy skin. She also had a peachy colored bathing suit on. She gave him a peachy smile. She smelled like... cream. With a hint of peach.

"Hi," she giggled. "I'm Peaches!" Before introductions could be made, an angry sound came from behind her. A cream colored boy not finished yet. A boy ran up to Peaches and nearly punched out Stan. He had creamy white hair, creamy white eyes, creamy white skin and carried the scent of... Peaches. With a hint of Cream.

"WHY THE HECK ARE YOU FLIRTING WITH MY GIRL?" he yelled.

"LAY OFFA HIM! I WAS ABUT TO ASK WHERE HE WAS FROM!" replied Peaches.

"YOU WERE FLIRTING WITH HIM!"

"NO I WASN'T!"

Stan, watching from the sidelines, put to and two together and...

"You two are boyfriend and girlfriend?"

The two nodded in his direction. "Though people say we don't look it."

"Um," was Stan's reply.

"So, where you from?" asked the white haired boy.

"The big beach house over there." Stan pointed at the tall house

looming overhead.

The boy laughed. "Well, yer in for one heck of a ride."

"Cream!" Peaches lightly punched him on the shoulder.

"I was only joking with him!"

"It's not nice to tease the neighbors!"

The two kept on arguing until all three heard a scraping sound from the pillars supporting the dock. Stan looked down to find the Daring Duo scraping barnacles off the pillars.

"Hello, Stanny-wanny!" they shouted.

"I'm not a Stanny-wanny!" he replied.

"We heard Sparkle calling you that!"

"Well, she isn't supposed to call me that! And what are you doing with

all those barnacles?"

"We are feeding them to Tanky, our bird."

"Yeah, I'm heading back now."

Inside the Beach House kitchen

"Just one more batch!" Flex had on swimming gear as she moved through the room, which was now a swimming pool of muffins. "CAL, I DON'T THINK I KNOW A BOY WHO EATS THIS MUCH MUFFIN!"

Later that night, a conversation carried on in Pretzel and Stan's room:

"Stanny-wanny poo?"

"sighYes?"

"Is there life on Mars?"

"Go to sleep, Pretzel."

"Stanny?"

"YES?"

"Do you have a crush on Flexible?"

"...Nooo...What made you think that?"

"The fact that you do."

"Do what?"

"Have a crush on Flexible."

"I don't!"

"You do! Its not hard to find the evidence!"

"AAARGH!" Stan hid under his pillow.

"I ADMIT IT! I DO! Does that have to interfere with your plans of total

domination?"

"No. Sparkle does though."

"Ughhh..."

"Yeah?"

"My head hurts."

"Why?"

"I wonder."

Silence.

"Stanny wanny poo teddy beddy Stan?"

"Is THAT what Sparkle's calling me?"

"I LIKE BLUEBERRY-"

The door opened. Cal was there.

"Boys, can you keep it down?" And that ended that.

* * *

Sorry that was soo short!

Naruto:What did Rock Lee say?

Rock Lee:says something in American sign language

Me:He says yer an idiot.

Naruto: o.o

Najime:sympathetacilllyIt's okay! It happens to every person in the

world!

Naruto: o.o

Me:I think you did him in.

Rock Lee:smiles proudly

Dani: Hey, are we the neighbors or do we live in the house… (Runs toward Panda and hugs him)

me no own Pret and Cinn


End file.
